How To Drive In Jersey We've seenit B4 but it is the Holiday Weekend B SAFE

[Larry_Diamond]

Seriously, there are only two things needed to drive effectively in NJ:
A horn and a middle finger. Everything else is superfluous, including
knowing where you are going.

For those of you who live in Jersey or have lived there,
these things may come as no surprise. For those who haven't
traveled there before, Beware, Be Prepared and Be Afraid,,,, Be Very Afraid.

1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is
Nork - rhymes with Fork, not New-ark. Also, Trenton is not pronounced
Tren-ton, it is Trent-in.

2. The morning rush hour is from 5 AM to NOON. The evening rush hour is from NOON to 7 PM.  Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

3. The minimum acceptable speed on the turnpike is 85 mph.
On the parkway it's 105 or 110. Anything less is considered "Sissy.."
(Just ask the former Governor of NJ)
 
4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere.  Jersey has its own
version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
go second; However, in Monmouth and Burlington counties, SUV-driving,
cellphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed
out, and possibly shot.

6. Never honk at anyone. EVER ! Seriously.
It's another offense that can get you shot.

7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in all of Jersey .
Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment pleasure
during the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit
more exciting.

8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks,
dogs, cats, barrels, cones, celebs, rubber-neckers, shredded tires, cell-phoners, deer and other road kill, and the homeless feeding on any of these items.

9. MapQuest does NOT work here -- none of the roads are where they say they are or go where they say they do and all the Turnpike EZ Pass lanes are moved each night once again to make your ride more exciting.

10. If someone actually has their Turn Signal ON, wave them to the

shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally activated."

11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65mph zone,
you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off" accordingly.
If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

12. Do not try to estimate travel time -- just leave Monday afternoon for Tuesday appointments, by noon Thursday for Friday appointments,
and right after church on Sunday for anything on Monday morning.

SAFE DRIVING ! ! !

[Pat Garaffa]

The speed limit on the parkway is very confusing and it actually changes every mile.   It's very slow in Cape May but it resembles the Autobahn up north.  

For instance, in Union county the speed limit varies from 140-150 MPH.  It slows down below the bridge and we are forced to drive at 105 MPH around Eatontown.  It gets even slower as we approach the shore area and we creep along at 98 mph near the Belmar and Point Pleasant exits  Get down into those Pine Barrens and you could find yourself driving anywhere between 70 and 40 MPH!  And things really slow down in super south Jersey where you could crawl along at 10 mph on the parkway.  The parkway speed limit near Wildwood and Cape may is in the single digits so budget your time accordingly.    

Bottom line - you can drive real real fast in North Jersey where the speed limit varies from 129 to 163 MPH.  But we take it easy below the bridge and your parkway speed limits are reduced from 127 to 1 mph.  Luckily they post the new speed limit near every exit so we can stay within the law. 

Now if only I could figure out why people keep raising their finger at me?  I guess they are tring to say "I'm number one."      

[Kathy_Baratta]

Now if only I could figure out why people keep raising their finger at me?  I guess they are tring to say "I'm number one."      

If it's the middle digit it means you rank number one on their "list" - at least for that moment.     

KB